It’s amazing at what God have done through my life. I have asked to make my life busy, and that is just what God have been doing. As I sit here on my futon with blanket over my shoulder, listening to beautiful praises of wonderful musicians and singers through the speaker of my laptop, I am convicted in writing a Journal of how God have led me throughout this week.
Friday night of November 2, a story of a gold miner was brought to my attention by Pr. Bobby Sepang. He said, “Do you remember the story of a gold miner who gave up before finding gold a few feet from where he was digging?”
Before I get too far, let us start much earlier than that.
Wednesday morning, October 31st of the year 2012, the title soared across the top of the page, “Day 19: The Necessity of Spirit Baptism in Witnessing.” From the book titled, 40 Days: Prayers and Devotions to Prepare for the Second Coming. I have favored this book for what it had done in my life. It brought me back to the day of my baptism, and took me to my knees to fervently ask for the daily baptism of the Holy Spirit.
And what a change that it had done in my life. I have seen the reliance upon God greatly and the solid commitment in prayer and a deep study of God’s word were yearning in my heart. I loved what God is doing through that book. I do encourage that you read it with a partner.
Just a taste the book, here is an excerpt of what I read; “As a result of the Spirit’s infilling, ‘Saul increased the more in strength’ (Acts 9:22). The word strength is not simply referring to physical strength. The context indicates that Saul increased in Spiritual strength and power in proclaiming the gospel.” Wow. Don’t you just wish that you would go find the book to read it for yourself and a partner? Anyway, after reading my devotion, I knew God have blessed me with the daily baptism of the Holy Spirit.
Work started at 7:00AM. I arrived 15 minutes after. And yes, I had some talk with my supervisor on the subject of attendance. Anyway, to make a long story short, the day went downhill after that. After lunch, I received a message that my door-to-door partner, Mike, will not be going out with me. And it just dragged me down.
At 4:00PM, I ended my shift. I arrived home and just cried out to God. “Lord, is this part of your plan?” I just wanted to give up. I dropped my jacket, my sling bag, and anything that was dragging me down and went straight on my knees to pray. “Lord, what is your will for me?” I asked. I told God that I am really tired, and I wanted to rest. I also asked God that if He really wants to do a miracle, I want Him to send me a message on my phone, specifically a text message from a laborer that is willing to be my partner to go door-to-door. I then jumped on my futon and slumbered. While I was sleeping, I received a message. Something was telling me, “Wake up!! Look at your phone.” I got up, looked at the phone, and there a message just arrived as I picked up the phone to look. It literally vibrated on my hand.
It was the youth assistant leader, Joko, who wished to go out with me for the first time. I jumped with joy at the miracle that God performed. I got myself ready, within 30 minutes of getting all the Bible study ready, a widow of pastor Pinontoan was on her knees to pray for us, to bless us prior to departing to our local mission field.
Joko and I took off. And if many of you know who Joko is, he is critical in stating the impossibilities. A couple that I remembered was, “why is it so far?”, “Why can’t you pick a safer neighborhood?” All I can tell him is, “God showed me this place.”
We read an excerpt from Colporteur Ministry page 119.1, “It is not the capabilities you now possess, or ever will have, that will give you success. It is that which the Lord can do for you. We need to have far less confidence in what man can do, and far more confidence in what God can do for every believing soul. He longs to have you reach after Him by faith. He longs to have you expect great things from Him. He longs to give you understanding in temporal as well as in spiritual matters. He can sharpen the intellect. He can give tact and skill. Put your talents into the work, ask God for wisdom, and it will be given you.” Prayed, and we’re off to the first house. As we were heading to the first house, I asked Joko if he can pray in his heart for me.
We went to the first person who accepted the Bible Study drop-off, Mr. Celerino. I asked him if he had any questions of the previous lessons, he said no, and that he is still studying. Then I asked, “Do you have any prayer request that we can pray for? He looked surprised, took a second, and said, “no.” (Just a side note, allowing your contact to say no on a prayer is a big mistake. Just pray for them then and there. Prayer is a huge weapon to have with you.)
Next person who accepted a drop-off bible study was about 2 houses away. Ms. Daisy. She was not home, and not to remind you, it was a Halloween night. So I thought, maybe she’s out with her kids to go “trick or treating.” So I said to myself, “hmm, no trickery here, just some treats of the wonderful love of God.” I left the drop-off bible study at the front door and off to the next appointment.
Ms. Imelda lived 2 doors away. I knocked, and like the first time I saw her, she had a phone on her ear, talking in a foreign language. I then whispered to her, “I don’t want to bother you from your phone, but here is the next Bible lesson.” I handed the next lesson and asked, “Do you have any questions from previous lessons?” She smiled and shook her head. So we wished her a good night.
After Ms. Imelda, it was getting dark, and It seems like it’s an appropriate time to just head back home. But another voice said, “Come on, last week you stopped here and went home. You need to knock on some doors.” So we did.
Joko stood like 5 feet behind me with his flashlight as I knocked on the next door. No one answered. I left a GLOW tract and moved on to the next house.
At the next house, we could not figure out which was the front door, but we knocked on both doors. The light inside was on and we can hear the voices of children running. Yet, no one answered the door.
We continued on to the next door. I knocked the first set of knocks and no one answered. It was getting too dark and the breeze of the cold winter night was piercing through my uncovered skin. My fingers started to feel numb as I hold the surveys and the Amazing Facts drop-off Bible studies on my left hand.
With a somewhat heavy backpack on my back, filled with Bible study materials and my Bible, I knocked my second set of knocks. (Side note: the Bible is to use when you are confronted with people who wish to have an instant Bible study.)
The howling sound of dogs and the crickets from a nearby garden became more ostensible of what it may seem like an eerie Halloween night.
No one answered the piercing loud knocks from my frozen knuckles. I turned around and jumped at the bright light shone directly on me. I squinted to try to have a glimpse of a man behind the source of light. I could not identify who it was because of the darkness.
Joko has been quiet this whole time that his presence startled me. I then realized that I had friends with me, not just Joko, but guardian angels as well. So I told Joko, “what are you doing all the way back there,” he said, “I’m just trying to brighten your way man.” I then said, “Well, why don’t you stand right beside me so you can brighten the survey when I am about to read it.” So he agreed.
As we were heading to the front of what may seem to be another unsuccessful forth door, we saw a lady came out of the next house. Joko then said, why don’t we take the chance and talk to her, I hesitated and gave a quick prayer, “Lord, should I?” We greeted the lady, as she rushed to get in the car and took off. So we went to our fourth house.
Two weeks ago, Mike and I went and knocked for an hour long at the same neighborhood, and every single house had someone dwelling there to speak to us. Whether it was to accept a Bible study or even to refuse a Bible study, there was someone that opened the door for us.
However, Joko and I had realized that the night had become a disappointing one. No one had opened their door and with the fourth unanswered door, I thought out loud, “Man, I think all of them are out trick or treating.” Joko agreed. As we started heading back to the car with disappointment and body freezing from head to toe, I quickly told God, “Lord, I know you brought us here for a reason.”
Suddenly, I rushed to the next house while Joko followed. Remember, this is the house where we saw the girl that just left a couple of minutes ago. So there it was in my mind, “No one is probably home and it may be another negative result.” Yet, I put that aside and head to the front door to knock the first set of knocks. No one answered. Frown shaped my face. I turned around and told Joko, “Alright, I think we should go.” But something told me to knock again. So I said, “One more time.” I turned around, and as I was about to knock on the door, the door handle turned and a crack of light broke through the dark night.
My frown turned to the greatest joy of relief. In my heart, I praised the Lord not even realizing that it was freezing. And when it’s cold like that, I would usually stutter. So I stuttered my way through, fumbling with words as I went ahead and introduced myself and Joko and the reason why we were at her front door. However, those words became no value because she looked at us with puzzling eyes and said, “Sorry, no speaka English.” In my mind, I cried to the Lord, “NOOOOOOOO!!!” And she paused, looked to the right and said, “Alex…” And she said something in Spanish, which I did not quite comprehend.
She looked at me again, and the door opened wider revealing a young man in his late teens, taller than me.
A bit intimidated, I told the young man that we were there to do a quick religious survey. He looked at me, with his piercing eyes spoken to me a message of how crazy I am for doing this at a cold night.
“We are actually about to leave to take my younger siblings to go trick or treating, so we got to leave.” Alex said.
I then replied, “This will take as quick as how fast you can answer it.” As I uttered a prayer to the Lord, “Lord, please help.”
I then jumped at my chance to ask the first question, and the next, and the next. As I got into the 9th question I asked, “So, in your own opinion, if you died tonight, do you feel that you would be saved?” He quickly said, “Yes.” I then stare at his eyes with a puzzling look and said, “So what gives you that confidence?” He paused and thunk for a bit and said, “I don’t know. I mean, I am a good person. I have not done anything bad.”
Finishing the survey I asked, would you like to study the Bible more? And he said yes. He gave me his number and hoping to see us again next week.
After, we head to our Wednesday prayer meeting which was about 45 minutes’ drive. And to make a long story short, we testified of the wonderful things God have done in our experience.
Thursday came. I had wonderful morning devotion with a prayer partner that God have introduced to my life. We read on the subject, “The Church’s Laodicean Problem.” We realized that it was the state that we were in, and that we need to be awakened. There was a massage or prayer that I have prayed to God, which I was looking forward for Him to answer. And The Lord did answer. The code word that supposed to trigger me to tell my prayer partner about what I had in mind was the word, “Brother,” and only if the Lord allows my prayer partner to mention this word from my prayer partner’s own mouth. Thursday morning, my prayer partner triggered me to actually even remember what I had in mind. My prayer partner had never spoke the word to me, however I refused to tell my prayer partner what God have placed in my heart.
Thursday noon was perplexing as the conversation between my prayer partner and I started to become very awkward. Then, the word came on again. Something in me told me to tell my prayer partner, but I refused.
That afternoon, a question from the past came to mind. “How do you know if what you are doing is selfish led, or is it Spirit led?” I struggled with the past question and started asking to myself, “Is going door-to-door a selfish gain? Is leading the youth is for my prideful gain? Is talking to my prayer partner a selfish interest? Is uttering ‘praise the Lord’ a prideful gesture? Is what I am doing is just to show-off on what God have been doing to gain pride to self?” Doubts have built in my mind and I struggled with it throughout the day.
Friday morning turned to sour. I told my prayer partner of what I am struggling with and skipped our devotional time. The struggle built, and built, nevertheless as we came to the Denver Botanical Gardens, God took me to a humble creation to answer my perplexity. He took me to look at the beautiful tropical plants and He brought me to see wild flowers as well.
The Lord then took me to see a beautiful purple orchid that grew on a rocky wall. Its root seemed to be wrapped within the rocks to send a message to my stubborn mind and solid-rocked heart.
God took me closer and told me to look at His beautiful creation. God then told me, “This flower that I have beautifully created, have stood in rocky mountains to do the everlasting work that I have placed it to do. Its job is to magnify and glorify Me from the beautiful blessings that I have poured upon it. Now, Assdhy… I have created you more beautiful than this orchid. I have loved you, and bought you from the bondage of sin with the price of the blood of My only Son. Will you allow your life to bloom beautifully the way these flowers have done for My glory?”
It penetrated deep in my stoned-heard-heart. Praises and glory goes straight to my Heavenly Father. I felt the deep sin of my selfishness have given weight to my shoulder as I prayed that my selfishness will vanish and Christ and Christ alone will manifest in me.
Before vesper night at Pr. Tumbarante’s house that Friday evening, I got the chance to talk to Pr. Bobby Sepang.
I asked, “Pastor, how can you tell if what you are doing is Spirit led or selfish led?”
He baffled at the question. He told me that there is no simple answer to your question. He shared to me his testimony how God led him throughout 30+ years of service even through his work in Southern Asia-Pacific Division. He refused the job offered to him.
However, one thing I learned from his testimony is of the commitment in prayer for the guidance of the Lord in making each decision, to keep aside selfishness and to only focus in the Lord’s work.
Proverbs 16:3 Pr. Sepang shared, “Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.” He told me to never give up on the Lord’s work. God have given us the great commission to “Go.”
He then told me of the gold miner during the California gold rush era. The miner knew that he would strike gold. So he dug for months. Early in the morning, with the simple tools he had, he goes out to dig, and dig. He gained gold here and there, but it was not the mother-load of gold he was expecting to gain. Another man then came to him, asking him if he can purchase the land as well as the tools that the miner had. The miner, because of his frustration, he had given up on the land knowing that he had spent months digging and found little result. So the miner sold it to this man who was purchasing his land and his tools. The man then conducted a thorough investigation of the land, and from his research, he found that about three feet deeper, there were the mother-load of gold.
Pastor Sepang then turned to me and told me. “If it is God’s will, do it with all your heart, soul, strength and mind.” He testifies of all the struggles that he faced and the negativity that came from members and even closes friends.
Yet, he looked at me with confident in the Lord and said, “Never give up.”
Friends, the mother-load of blessings is waiting under your feet, perhaps, three feet below where you are standing. Never give up.
Friends, count the blessings that God have poured upon you. He loves you with an everlasting love. As you see the struggles that engulfed you, never give up.
Pray to the living God to strengthen you and who is faithful to deliver you from the trials and temptations.
He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and He shall purify you in the fire and purge you as gold and silver, that you may offer unto the Lord and offering in righteousness. Friends, is that your will and your desire?
Let us pray, “Our Father in heaven, dear Lord, we are beings that are in bondage of selfishness. We cannot do anything without selfish thoughts. We want the best for us, yet, Your thoughts are greater than ours. Your thoughts are thoughts of peace and not of evil. Father, give us a teachable heart and the pouring of Your spirit to bless us with Your desire in refining us and Your will to purify us in the way You want us to be. Forgive us oh Lord of our many sin. I pray this in Jesus’ precious name. Amen.”
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